And to think it could've been avoided if I had black paint....

I find that some of the best stories always come from an embarrassing moment or a time when you did something you weren’t expecting yourself to. Those are always the stories that you can share with others and feel totally okay with it because it shows your humanity and the ability to laugh at yourself (even though you look like a complete ass). My friend recently shared a story of when she accidentally got into the wrong vehicle and had this completely awkward moment with this guy.

So here’s me, sharing a story with you that to this day I haven’t told anyone. I don’t think I have ever blushed so much in my life. The reason I thought of this story is because, well, I had just opened up a picture album and found pictures of my enemy. This girl and I never ever got along. She was my bully.

So in grade 7, I hated art. I was never artistic… nor will I ever be. But that’s beside the point. This one day we were told to bring a rock to paint. And I had found this wonderfully awesome shaped rock that looked like a whale. I was triumphant. A whale is easy… and if I made a killer whale it would be even easier… black and white and no mixing the blues! SWEET! But it just so happened that this lovely bully of mine thought it was a great idea to steal all the black. Now for those of you who know what a killer whale looks like, you know that the black is essential to making your killer whale look correct. So I had this discussion with her which consisted of me saying “can I have one of those blacks?” and her answering with that bully tone of hers “No. I need them”.

So instead of fighting with her or doing that thing we poor kids who get picked on do; going to tell the teacher, I decided to steal the one that she was using… I had this brilliant idea that I would be like an action hero in a movie and be all stealthy and when she wasn’t looking grab the paint and run away. So while trying to implement my stealthy plan, I went to grab the black paint that was right beside her and with my ever constant clumsiness I hit the can instead of grabbing it, essentially knocking the thing right into her lap. To this day I burst into laughter every time I think of the look on her face. She looked like a murderous kitten. She was a cute girl, with big blue eyes and a round face, but at the time she looked so furious, it was hilarious.

She didn’t say anything but “I will get you back. You did that on purpose”. Which makes me laugh more… cause I’m thinking “I’ll get you next time Gadget…. Next time” *insert cat meow/roar. Hahaha!!

So this girl waited for weeks “to get me back”. And I thought she had forgotten. However… one random day when we were all done our classes and I was putting my books into my backpack, she walked up to me and got up in my face. Yelling at me saying I was passive aggressive and that it was stupid of me to dump the paint on her, cause I’m stupid and all I do are stupid things. And all at once my complete hatred for this girl all bubbled up and I was so done with dealing with her. I have never been one to resort to violence or force to end an argument. I cower away. But it was at this one time where I had had enough of her saying whatever she wanted to me and not apologizing. So I bubbled up the necessary courage (which at the time I didn’t realize was that much but to reflect on it now, man how bold was I???) and I threw my hand back, balled it up into a fist, prepared every muscle in my body for the impact (and my legs for the run once she realized what I did) and I swung. But there was one thing I didn’t anticipate…. Missing. The momentum it took for me to take the swing, swung me forward and I wobbled on my feet and fell over. Taking her down with me. And of course it was at this time that the ruckus caught everyone’s attention… and there I was lying on top of my nemesis as she was looking at me like what the hell are you doing? We were face to face. Everyone from then on made fun of me for my crush on my bully.

*Sparkles*

I hate winter. I hate the cold. I hate having to start up my car to let it warm up every time I want to use it. There is no feeling I hate more than when even after bundling up with your 16 layers of clothing, you walk out that door and the cold hits you like a brick in the face and you can barely breathe. I hate it because Canadian winters are hellish to deal with. People drive the same and expect that they will get around the same way without an accident.

There is one part of winter however that turns me into this giddy little 5 year old girl again…. The snow. I love it because it makes everything look so pretty…. Despite it being disgustingly cold out and my car is always dirty. The whiteness of it all just makes me think of all the times I’d trudge through it to get to the bus. It makes me think of forts, snowmen and snow ball fights and snow angels and the one time where it snowed so much I was able to step up on the roof of my 2 story house back home. And at the time even knowing if I got caught I’d get in trouble, I had to yell out “Victory!” And of course I got myself in trouble. Sigh.

As I was driving to school the other day I noticed something else about the snow. But please don’t judge me for this reason I’m not as girly as you’d think. It makes everything sparkly. The town that I live in, it’s hard to find beauty in it because it is an all around dirty town but this one little thing made me so giddy. The top of the snow was all sparkly from the bright sun shining down on it and the snow and frost on the road was sparkly too. And all I could think at the time was “ooooo sparkles”.

And what ruined my whole mood was 5 minutes later I thought…. Now I can’t judge Bella as much as I’d like to for enjoying watching her love sparkle in the sun…..Damnit.

The Fear

Nursing students walk around in a constant state of fear. In clinical or in class, always… forever… afraid. The nursing faculty takes pride in the fact that they can make us want to cry, vomit and possibly pee our pants all at the same time. Especially our autocratic leader… Oh do they ever love to torture us and eat our souls. At times you feel like yah maybe they’re doing this because they are teaching us to be tough and understand that this is what the work world is like. HA! They love to watch us squirm. And now that we finally have some chance to take a breather in our fourth and FINAL year because we’re almost there! they just have to find some way to scare the pants off us. We have a registering exam that is at the end of all this… if we don’t pass we don’t nurse plain and simple. However, to prepare for this exam we have to study everything we’ve learnt in the 4 years of schooling. The prep books we can buy are actually pretty simple and easy. But just to put the fear in us they make our exams (the exam prep practice exam) ridiculously complicated with convoluted questions that make no possible sense.
I have a roommate who is now in her 1st year of this and I can see that they haven’t changed a thing since my first year.
Finally possibly reaching the end of this makes me excited, but with all these scary comments and exams it makes it seem like it’s impossible to reach it. Like I won’t make it and I won’t pass.
With all the fear and anxiety I’m still surprised I’ve made it as far as I have….. make no wonder there’s a nursing shortage and all the units are short staffed…..