A blog I meant to add a month or so ago...

Well…. What a week it has been! The fact that I feel stressed doesn’t even begin to cover it… I’ve never had so many pimples on my forehead or drank so much coffee or felt so ‘perma-nauseated’ in my life. Meetings with the chair of the program, angry students, angry teachers, papers, clinical…. I’m not about to dish out the details of the situation… but it’s safe to say it was a bad week with mistakes made, tears shed, excuses made, angry glances, and roars of rage. It can be very frustrating as a nursing student. You get blamed for most things that aren’t your fault, you get treated like an idiot much of the time as people assume you don’t know what you’re doing and you want to throw up a lot of the time from stress and nervousness from being so intimidated. However when we do get in trouble, most of the time it is what is required and there are times when we get in trouble and it is well deserved. We are supposed to be confidential and what happens when you talk about something that happens within the hospital, you get in trouble! That’s it. Nothing more to it. We are supposed to tell our instructor of our plans for the day and we have to give detailed descriptions of our clients diagnosis and medications to them and when we don’t know something it’s normal for them to have to take the appropriate action, you have to know your client, you have to know what you’re talking about. There are times when your instructor does make you feel like an idiot, but they’re not trying to make you feel stupid they just want to know that you know what you’re talking about. So we have to keep our heads held high and whistle while we work. Just keeping our heads above water is tough enough but we have to be there with smiles on our faces even if they’re fake.

Oh to be young and carefree.... sigh

Lately I’ve been finding that I miss the days when I was young. I miss the carefree lifestyle, the fact that you can do whatever you want at anytime of the day because your schedule was so empty. I hate having to be an adult. All that responsibility can be so completely draining. I miss the days when the biggest stress in my world was whether or not it was going to rain (at which time I would not be able to get on my bike to ride to the swimming pool). I’ve been noticing a trend with my wave of nostalgia and it seems to come about at this time of the year when the kids are getting excited school’s coming to an end and summer begins. I like summer, I do, but when you work all the time it kinda kicks the fun (the carefree guy with a smile on his face) right out the window and leaves you with a schedule, bills, work, and some old lady in a black and brown dress suit wanting you to clean the floors for her. It sucks being an adult. Responsibility takes the place of freedom. Children don’t realize how free they really are. They are constricted in the rules and boundaries their parents give them but once you’re an adult you have so much more to worry about. You’re a prisoner to your own schedule and you plan out every aspect of your life. You even have to plan your vacation… plan a vacation? It’s like an oxymoron.