A terrible 6 letter word..... stigma

Mental Health. When you think about depression, bipolar disorder, personality disorders, or the “dreaded” schizophrenia…. What comes to mind? Do you think of the poor person who is struggling with the battle of the disease or do you think of a guy who is on a bus and cuts someones head off because he was ridding the world of a demon? I hate the image of mental illness the media is implanting on watchers. The media has taken mental illness and given it this absolutely terrible, scary spin. It seems that people can’t get passed the diagnosis in order to understand and to learn about the person behind it. No matter what the diagnosis is… diabetes… asthma… cancer… depression… schizophrenia… there is always a person behind it, right? So why is mental illness any different than diabetes or asthma? Why is it people are more likely to support a person with diabetes than a person who struggles with bipolar? When in reality aspects of mental illness affect your daily routine and functioning a lot more than diabetes… Is it that diabetes or asthma are more physical illnesses and there are definite tests that give you your answer than with mental illness? There’s no real test to tell you that you have depression. I don’t know what it is that makes people think differently about it, but I truly wish I did….
But if you think about it… how scared must that guy have been? Just put it into your head that the person sitting next to you is a demon… now how do you feel?… How about that everyone around you is out to kill you? How do you feel now? What about if there is someone behind you telling you to turn around, there is someone to the right of you telling you to turn right, someone to your left telling you to turn left and someone in front of you that is telling you to walk forward? Now what do you do? Who do you listen to? That is just to enlighten some of you. It’s not so easy when you think about it… and this is something that they will struggle with their whole life.
A very dear friend of mine, not too long ago, said “we are humans in this spinning wonder world, not anything greater not anything less”. There seem to be a lot of people to forget that they are humans such as anyone else and that each and every person deserves the same kindness and compassion. So when you meet a person who has a mental illness don’t shun them, embrace them… they may have some of the best stories to share with you.

Time to be free...

Forgiveness. ‘Easier said than done’ is my opinion. In a society reeking of justice, revenge and instant gratification it kind of makes it hard for forgiveness to find its rightful place within the hearts of people. Forgiveness is one that at times is confusing, it makes no sense, but it is also very powerful and miraculous. But when are you on the true path to forgiveness? It may be said on the outside, but inside, the thoughts are still there, still the anger and emotion of being burned. Deep down, true forgiveness cools that burn. Forgiveness comes from somewhere, someone who has an immense amount of faith in humanity and though it still can bring on the need for justice, the faith it stems from can enable you to forget the past and forgive someone for an unforgivable act. We’re told that justice or retribution will feel better, but forgiveness is freedom. It frees us from the burden that comes along with anger and leaves us with true inner peace. But, unforgiveness, it leaves us bound to our perpetrator; it leaves them with the power.
In a society that is obsessed with “fair play”, true forgiveness is hard to get to. We’re asked to let it go, to rein in our natural instinct for self-defense. We’re taught to burn those who have burned us and you “never let anyone get over your time”, is what my mom says. To forgive goes against our nature as human beings; we are selfish beings who hate to be scorned. Forgiveness demands that we let it go; we move on. A weakness? Or strength? To society it is a weakness and we’ve rolled over and let it happen. The journey toward forgiveness is most definitely not an easy one, with bumps and thorns throughout the path with feelings of regret, anger, and at times the need for retribution. But, in my opinion, to be able to forgive shows you are much stronger, the ability to fight back requires little effort, while to forgive takes a lot more time, patience and a whole lot of soul searching. We haven’t rolled over or given up, we have risen above and allowed ourselves to be freed from anger and hate.

A blog I meant to add a month or so ago...

Well…. What a week it has been! The fact that I feel stressed doesn’t even begin to cover it… I’ve never had so many pimples on my forehead or drank so much coffee or felt so ‘perma-nauseated’ in my life. Meetings with the chair of the program, angry students, angry teachers, papers, clinical…. I’m not about to dish out the details of the situation… but it’s safe to say it was a bad week with mistakes made, tears shed, excuses made, angry glances, and roars of rage. It can be very frustrating as a nursing student. You get blamed for most things that aren’t your fault, you get treated like an idiot much of the time as people assume you don’t know what you’re doing and you want to throw up a lot of the time from stress and nervousness from being so intimidated. However when we do get in trouble, most of the time it is what is required and there are times when we get in trouble and it is well deserved. We are supposed to be confidential and what happens when you talk about something that happens within the hospital, you get in trouble! That’s it. Nothing more to it. We are supposed to tell our instructor of our plans for the day and we have to give detailed descriptions of our clients diagnosis and medications to them and when we don’t know something it’s normal for them to have to take the appropriate action, you have to know your client, you have to know what you’re talking about. There are times when your instructor does make you feel like an idiot, but they’re not trying to make you feel stupid they just want to know that you know what you’re talking about. So we have to keep our heads held high and whistle while we work. Just keeping our heads above water is tough enough but we have to be there with smiles on our faces even if they’re fake.

Oh to be young and carefree.... sigh

Lately I’ve been finding that I miss the days when I was young. I miss the carefree lifestyle, the fact that you can do whatever you want at anytime of the day because your schedule was so empty. I hate having to be an adult. All that responsibility can be so completely draining. I miss the days when the biggest stress in my world was whether or not it was going to rain (at which time I would not be able to get on my bike to ride to the swimming pool). I’ve been noticing a trend with my wave of nostalgia and it seems to come about at this time of the year when the kids are getting excited school’s coming to an end and summer begins. I like summer, I do, but when you work all the time it kinda kicks the fun (the carefree guy with a smile on his face) right out the window and leaves you with a schedule, bills, work, and some old lady in a black and brown dress suit wanting you to clean the floors for her. It sucks being an adult. Responsibility takes the place of freedom. Children don’t realize how free they really are. They are constricted in the rules and boundaries their parents give them but once you’re an adult you have so much more to worry about. You’re a prisoner to your own schedule and you plan out every aspect of your life. You even have to plan your vacation… plan a vacation? It’s like an oxymoron.

Care Bears+ caring lessons = essential cartoon show that should be played as reruns on TV

wow... long title!!!!

Well, I don’t want to admit this but, I figure since it’s triggered something for me to start writing… here it is.

I love the Care Bears! I’ve loved them for as long as I can remember. I am 22 years old and I think I love them as much now as I did back when I was 5.

I know terrible huh? Haha Well what they said got me on a rant…. Caring for people is important we have to care for each other to make the world a better place.. yeah yeah okay okay … cheesy and ridiculous I know! But maybe with everything that’s been happening in the world today maybe some people need to go back to kindergarten and learn about sharing and caring and be made to watch some episodes of Care Bears.

I love shifts at the hospital for clinical. You get to help patients during a time when they’re not at their best. When you do something nice for them it’s like you’ve gone so out of your way to do it, when it is something so minute that it feels like it’s something you’re supposed to do. Just out of kindness. The smallest act of kindness is nothing to me if I do it, but for some people that small act of kindness completely makes their day. I was raised to be the type to do anything for anyone if I can at all do it. I see friends walking in the cold, I refuse to let them walk and I give them a ride. But there are some people who forget about the small things and I think people need to start remembering those lessons we learned back when we were 5… cause it seems there are people who are forgetting those simple little lessons that got us through kindergarten and most of our childhood….

Eustress - You Stress - Your Stress!

One thing that is permanent in a nursing students life… well in any students life really. With papers, exams, feeble attempts at a social life in between all that and other commitments add to the wonderful world of a student! Student life=NO TIME. No time for alone time, family time, or any of the sort. Any sort of commitment outside of school makes you feel torn, with your loyalty dragged all over the place. Stress is a silly thing, theres bad stress that makes you feel crappy and it has serious effects on your health – pimples, eating habits, digestive problems, headaches, dehydration, overcaffeination! However somehow there is a good stress? … “Eustress”. What is eustress you ask? Eustress is defined as the stress that is healthy for us... apparently… somehow stress can be healthy?
Distress is the most commonly-referred to type of stress, having negative implications, whereas eustress is a positive form of stress, usually related to desirable events in a person's life. Both can be equally taxing on the body depending on a person's way of adapting to a change. The body cannot tell the difference between distress or eustress.
So wouldn’t that really mean that the outcome is the healthy part? Not the fact that the body is under stress. And the body can’t decipher the difference, so either way you’re under stress. How can that be healthy?
Stress is an interesting, unfortunately inevitable part of adult life. Especially for students; every possible aspect of a student’s life is stressful. It’s only understandable that most are alcoholics, caffeine addicts, insomniacs or even the other extreme of narcolepsy. Everyone is affected differently with stress and deals with it differently. I, personally, like to throw shit around and I tend to cry when I am seriously stressed out. Or I have a serious problem of just not dealing with the particular thing that's causing me stress; I know unhealthy blah blah. But we each have our ways of dealing with stress but sometimes you just need to act a little crazy. I hope each of you has found a healthy-ish way of dealing with stress and for those who have yet to find a way to deal, fret not, I have found the best stress relievers. Just a few tidbits found and made up to bring a little joy to your day.

This comes from one of my nursing lab books (slightly changed)
-Use your Mastercard to pay off your Visa
-Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on
-Write "out to lunch" on your forehead
-Lie on your back; eat celery, using your navel as a salt dipper
-When someone says, "Have a nice day" tell him or her you've got other plans.
-Stare at people through the lines of a fork and imagine they're in jail
-Move Caution: Wet floor signs to carpeted areas
-Dance naked in front of your pets
-Games of “Marco Polo” in inconvenient places
-Drive to work in reverse
-Go shopping, buy lots of clothes, exercise in them and return them the next day
-Get a box of condoms, then wait in line at the checkout counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are
-Fill out your tax form in roman numerals
- Set up a desk and chairs in the elevator like it’s your office and ask anyone who comes on the elevator if they have an appointment
-Go into a Superstore, Walmart, Target and set all the alarm clocks so they go off at 10 minute intervals
-Go camping – in a store outdoor display

You can try the traditional stuff; going out for a night away from homework, drinking, sleeping, sex, meditation, reading, bubble baths, yoga etc. but are they as much fun as these?

Big Nerd!

I am possibly the biggest nursing nerd you’ll meet. I get excited over the weirdest things and I think gross things are cool. But for all you fellow nursing students and nurses out there you all know this is a requirement for the position. I have had bodily fluids spilled over me, I have seen wounds the size of my fist, I have changed a colostomy appliance, I have seen pitting edema that would make you wonder where all that fluid comes from, and there are things I've done that I'm sure would make people wonder if I am actually sane and normal (ex. I took a catheter tray home to practice my sterile technique, but I had to leave it in my car cause I had to work and I gave a girl a ride home at the end of the day and the kit was on the passenger seat). But that’s okay. I am a nursing student, to-be-nurse in 2 years and I love what I am doing and I love the weird, gross things that make other people cringe and want to vomit. I get excited over new things like giving injections and learning about new things and the smallest detail intrigues me. I am that much of a nerd I have starting writing as if I am charting when I leave notes for people. Like when I was at work last week I wrote a note to a colleague when a customer wanted to leave them a message. What did I write you ask? “A customer came in today. He stated that he would like to leave a message about the wedding this weekend.” I have used “denies”, “states that” and “complains of” in normal conversation more than I am proud of. I enjoy morbid or gross humor and it has a serious effect on my social skills. No one understands my jokes other than fellow nursing students to whom I gravitate like a magnet. No matter what room or social situation you put us nurses and students in guaranteed we will find each other and talk about bodily fluids and the bad smells we encounter over a nice big plate of food. I am a proud nursing student. Please be patient with me during this time of insanity

New blogger. Guilty as charged!

I am new to this whole blog world! I have never really aspired to create my own blog but I recently started reading my friends blog and she talks about how much she enjoys it...
So here I am.
I am hoping to use this place to tell stories of my crazy world and give anyone who reads this some insight into my brain. It's a scary place though I should warn you. I have many stories to tell and many, many opinions to share. Too many in fact.

But here we go!